Yikes. I can’t believe it’s been all the way back to May since I’ve updated this blog. It’s like I’ve been asleep for 6 months at least from this blog’s perspective. Many months ago I had another cardiac event and my cardiologist doubled my beta-blocker pill dosage which for anyone familiar with them might know taking those certainly slow you down in every way in addition to slowing one’s heart. One odd side affect of beta-blockers is they make you worry less and lower anxiety so some people without heart problems take them prior to public speeches etc or so I’ve read. I often contemplated whether I have normal levels of stress and/or anxiety and I’m sure I do but like most things with me my version is always weird. For instance, if someone stuck a gun in my face I’d probably yell at them and tell them they got 2 seconds to get that out of my face – disclaimer please don’t do that if someone shoves a gun in your face as it’s not the right response. I’ve been in many highway scenarios where I’ve narrowly avoided fast head-on collisions due to other people’s stupidity. And I’ve been on the receiving end of many road rage incidents where insane people have stood outside my window screaming at me and one incident where a road-rager brandished a gun. None of them raised my blood pressure very much or caused me an appropriate level of anxiety as they should. In other words, I don’t flinch at the right times. However, the other side of that is if I think i’m late with paying a bill, filing my taxes or going to a meeting or appointment, I get anxiety. In other words, I always feel i’m backwards from everyone else. But I can’t blame it all on the beta-blocker pill as I’ve always been like that even though I think the beta-blocker makes it worse.