The shoulder injury that could.

So I’ve played a lot of sports (informal not professional in anyway – although if coach would have only put me in the game in the finals, I could have went pro, lol, just kidding we didn’t actually have bench warmers due to always having just enough players to make a team) over the years and did a lot of dumb things so I know a thing or two about injury.   So about four months ago, I’ll label it as a sports injury since I was moving a sleeper sofa by myself to an extra bedroom in the middle of the house, when behold I felt a slight discomfort in my left shoulder.  I’ll call it a sports injury since the extra bedroom is becoming a music/game room and me and my daughter will likely play sports games on PS2 (and the 27″ CRT) at some point.  And since anyone that knows me and my body type knows I’m not playing a lot of real sports lately.  But as the legendary Chris Farley and hopefurry my new Blue FitBit Blaze would say, I’m working on it!  Anyway, back to our story, so the shoulder discomfort quickly morphed into something more analogous to a writhing pain like i envisioned would happen if a happy-go-lucky boa swallowed a nice big plump unsuspecting porcupine (and if you’re thinking to yourself wait self, I’ve heard that boa/porcupine story before then you and yourself would be right but hopefully you didn’t click the click-bait link where you saw it or if you did stop reading now and run a system scan.)  So for four months, it’s been this mild pain followed by occasional writhing sick boa.  So I finally told me doctor about it and he ordered an x-ray which obviously came back normal because modern medicine sucks.  No just kidding modern medicine is ok mostly especially since it’s saved my life more than once, it’s really just my luck that sucks.  Anyway, so he said since the x-ray was ok then obviously the pain is merely a figment of my imagination and I need some prozac or to take up alcohol.  Just kidding again, for the record I don’t think he believes in Prozac or it’s happy friends or he’d have probably put me on one of them a long time ago.  What he really said is he was going to give me a steroid shot and I quickly reminded him for the umpteenth time, that I’ve been allergic to steroids for many years and they will either kill me or make me blind or both because of something called CSCR which no one has ever heard of.  So then he said well that complicates things and gives me an RX for Etodolac which I thought was cool because maybe it was named after a mountain range called the Etodolacs or was it Adirondacks.   So after reading the 500 page warning pamphlet that came with it and which outlined the 10,000 maniac ways it can either kill you or make you wish you were dead because it’s 400 MG of NSAID afterall,  I was back to wishing he had just gave me Prozac instead.  But alas, I took just one yesterday morning (after a self-imposed and prescribed 5000 calorie meal to make sure it doesn’t cause stomach bleeding or upset) instead of the two pills he asked me to take each day.  So last night unlike every other night, the past four months, my shoulder hurt a lot less.  So thanks to my doctor and modern medicine, I may be on the road to recovery from shoulder pain and hopefully I can avoid the road of 10,000 deaths although I know it’s way too early to say yet.  And if you’re thinking (as my English professor in college would) did I really use that many words to describe something I could have said in 2 or 3 sentences then oh yes, yes I did.  🙂

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